My divorce took place about 3 months ago.  My former spouse and I had been married for almost fifteen years, and we have five beautiful daughters.  The issues and challenges of my broken marriage are still very real and fresh.

Now that I am a non-custodial dad, one event and two principles really stick out in my mind.  I hope that my upcoming statements about theses things will help somebody today.

The event to which I refer involves my day in court when the divorce case was considered.  If you have not yet had your case heard, listen well… the court is not going to shed any tears over the break up of your home.  The process in the courtroom is cold and quick.  You may have spent months planning your wedding;  your divorce hearing may last less than three minutes.

Two principles I encourage you to remember (especially the non-custodial fathers):

1)      We may be ex-husbands, but we are not ex-fathers.

      Dads…continue loving your children.  Do you know how to spell love?  

                                     T-I-M-E

2)      My wisest moments are when I focus on my children rather than on myself.

          The children’s rights and concerns really are more important than my own.

Just this past week, my eight year old daughter said, “Daddy, maybe this is all just a long dream.”

Well, folks… sometimes I wish it was just a dream.  But the reality is that there are times when life just hurts.  May God help us to do what we can to be sensitive to the hurts of our children during this time of life.  May we live our lives in response to the best interest of our children.